Resolving resolutions

The end of a year signifies many things for a lot of people. For some, it can be a celebration of many accomplishments or maybe one huge achievement. Others may be celebrating the good riddance of a troubling and disappointing time. Whatever the reason, people in general are excited to see a new year. I believe that this is the time when visions for a better life are most vivid among people. They think about all the things they will change...and how great life will be after they accomplish the goal. We call them new year resolutions.

  Here's a short list of some of my favorite past resolutions: 

• Lose weight 

• Go back to school  

• Save more money  

• Attend church more 

• Stop smoking 

• Take a vacation 

•  Be more helpful to others. 

 At one time or another, I was able to accomplish each one of these resolutions! I did lose weight (though I might have gained some of it back);and so forth and so on. Realizing each resolution had its own difficulties and their own rewards. The one characteristic that each resolution shared however, was that I couldn't settle into the new year, giving into to the temptations that drove me to have to make the resolutions in the first place. I had to make fundamental changes in order to realize the resolutions. The first change I made was in my mindset.

 The biggest reason that so many new years resolutions never get resolved (ha ha) is because people never really make the fundamental changes that are required to make it happen. For example, people run out and sign up for gym memberships and then figure out how to incorporate actually going to the gym in their schedule...heck, a lot of them won't even incorporate cancelling the membership after they have joined and then never make it...and I am not just putting the blame on other people, I have been guilty of such activity myself.

 But I did change...and you can too! All you have to do is choose to be committed. After all, The Bible tells us in Prov. 13:4 "The desires of the diligent are fully satisfied." Then make the fundamental changes required to make your resolution a reality. Next, try to maintain your emotions while you're making the changes you need to make. Don't look at the situation completely from an emotional standpoint. Emotions (especially when they are high) can make any reality look bleak. Escape the emotion by working at achieving your resolution. Eventually everything else you need will seem to resolve your resolution will just be in your path...there for the taking!

Learning to Trust

One of the problems that I see in contemporary American society is that people in general seem to be losing the ability to trust one another.  In general, we distrust our legislative body (who has recently been giving us many reasons to do so).  We don't trust that strangers will help us and won't hurt us.  But most importantly, we are slowly losing the trust that we should have for our loved ones.

When we don't trust people, it can lead to many difficulties in a relationship.  Pointless arguments occur on a regular basis.  We tend to want to tag along with the loved one when they want to go somewhere without us, but most of all, we can let the level of distrust we feel take us out of our character.  This is not good, because who are you, if you don't have your character?

Also, it doesn't matter the kind of relationship.  It can be a platonic one or an intimate one, the result will still be the same.  If the breakdown of trust continues, then the relationship is on an inevitable path to destruction.  Someone will be hurt, if there is no trust. This hurt can be mental, emotional, or even physical.  What can we do if we find ourselves in a place where we don't trust someone that we love?  There are several Biblical verses that speak to this very thing.  One of them is Romans 12:19, which says, "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, and I will repay", saith the Lord. This verse provides specific instruction from God on how to deal with the mistrust that you feel for others.  The Bible also says in 1 Corinthians 4:5, "Therefore, judge nothing before the appointed time.  Wait until the Lord comes.  For what is done in the dark, he will bring to the light."  This is also explicit instruction from the Lord.  He tells us not to be judgmental and to wait on him to show us the truth.  As with all of God's words, they will come to fruition.  It's natural law and it never fails.

So the next time you find yourself, losing your character because you don't trust someone, remember just these two verses, and revel in the fact that the Lord our God will show you what you need to see.  Find the happiness and strength you need in the fact that he is going to set all things right for you. and expose any wrong doing that has taken a course against you.

Why being thankful all year long is so important

Yesterday, we celebrated Thanksgiving.  It was an extremely special time for me.  I had the chance to see two uncles, whom I had not seen in many years.  I had the rare chance to go back in time and remember great memories shared with them and other members of my family.  We got the chance to see how we had changed over the years, it was amazing to see how time had changed us.  I was so thankful to have the opportunity to see them in person again...to hug them, hear their laughter, learn about the lives they are leading and to share about my life.

Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday, because it puts the idea of being thankful at the forefront of people's minds.  As a result, they are little bit nicer, are more focused on trying to enjoy other people, and is the beginning of the season of sharing.  At the end of the day, we find ourselves exhausted from all of the good food, fun, and laughter we enjoyed all day long.  This kind of exhaustion is the kind we should be experiencing every day.  But we get so caught up in other seemingly more important things and miss out on it. We should be on purpose about being thankful everyday, because gratitude is the start of the process for you to have anything you want!  Having a giving heart all year long is the second step!

Being thankful and giving, in fact, are explicit instructions for us from God.  1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us, "In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."  And Proverbs 19:17 says, "He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the Lord; and that which he hath given will he pay unto him."  Now there you have it!  Being thanksgiving only helps you! It's benefits are unfailing and eternal.  Want proof?  Now is the perfect time to start following the steps and get it!  You don't have anything to lose by doing so.

It's never to late to get what you want

Over the years, I have received so much praise from people who love what I would call my "fighting spirit".  That doesn't mean that I am running around causing unnecessary and messy disturbances; it means that when I want something, I go after it very hard...and am usually successful in obtaining it.  Now don't get me wrong, I don't step on toes, or do unethical things to get my way.  I just make a plan and follow it.  I also use my skills to access and examine my plans, and if something goes wrong, I don't abort the mission, I just change the course so that I improve my chances of completing the mission.

It saddens me that there are so many people running around with dreams and ambitions in their hearts, but they feel that it is too late to accomplish them.  I am here to tell you that it's never too late to get what you want.  We all have that "fighting spirit" somewhere inside of us.  We may have buried it underneath all of the obligations and other responsibilities we have, but it's in there.  We just need to search ourselves and dig it out from under all of the other stuff that stagnates us.  We can do this through meditation, prayer, and practically any other method that we find which will help us to put ourselves back into the action!  In order to realize those dreams that you truly have in your heart, you must be PRESENT and CONSCIOUS of where you are and where you need to go!  And for those who say, "I've got this to do now, I will focus on my dream later", I've got news for you, there will always be something!  That is the way life is.  We all have choices, we can choose to live our dreams NOW and follow our hearts and the holy spirit, or we can choose do to it LATER and hope that later will come!  I know I don't want to take that chance, do you?

Imagination always overpowers the will

This past weekend I read a very interesting little book that explained the term autosuggestion and how we use it in our daily lives, either consciously or unconsciously.  The book also explained how when we use it unconsciously, it normally has a negative effect on our lives.  I thought about this concept for a moment.  I do believe in the the idea of autosuggestion, and have employed the skills necessary to make it work for me in several areas.  I found it to be a very positive experience.  But this particular book made the suggestion that the imagination always overpowers the will.  It gave very explicit examples that could prove it to be true.  So I tested this theory with my daughter, using one of the examples from the document.

I went outside and grabbed a 2x4 from my storage room.  The board was just big enough for her feet to navigate across, one in front of the other.  I layed the plank on the ground and asked her to walk across it.  She did so with ease, never hesitating.  She was successful, each and every single time that she took the walk (a total of 10 times).  Next, I rested each end of the board on the seats of two chairs.  This raised the board about three feet off the ground.  I asked my daughter to step up and complete the walk. She immediately told me that she couldn't walk across the board and did not attempt it at first.

When I asked her about her reservation, she explained to me that she was not coordinated enough to walk the board in a tight rope fashion, and that she knew she would fall.  I told her to try for me anyway and she did.  She fell almost immediately.  Afterward she says to me, "See mom, I told you that I couldn't do it."  And asked her why she felt that way- to which she responded, "Well mom I am afraid of falling from a big building- I don't like heights!"  She continued to tell me that she couldn't look down out of windows when she had to be in tall buildings. 

I explained to her that she wasn't in a tall building, but a mere three feet off the gorund.  I explained to her that if she felt herself feeling as if she were going to fall, she could turn it into an opportunity to jump off the board and land on her feet, since the ground was so close...and that she could even look down to reassure herself.  I asked her to reattempt her walk, and of course, for her mom she obliged.  She mounted herself on the board very slowly.  She raised her arms to shoulder length on either side of her body, and slowly moved across the plank.  She had accomplished the feat!  She was very happy herself as well that she had done it and proceeded to move a little faster across the board to reach the end on which I was standing.  She tried several more times going steadily a little faster each time until she had marched back and forth across the board 12 times!

In my daughter's mind, she could always walk the plank when it was on the floor- as there was really no danger in her mind of getting hurt.  Afterall, she is used to walking on the floor and the plank had nowhere to fall to, as it was positioned on the floor.  But in order to get across the same plank while it was positioned on the seats of two chairs took some effort.  She had to imagine and suggest to herself that she could jump 3 feet to the ground if for some reason the plank gave way to the possibility of her crashing. 

This is the same for everyone else too.  We like to take big rides at amusement parts so that we can feel the rush (and the fear) that goes along with soaring up high in the sky and extremely rapid speeds.  Some of us can do this because we imagine that the operators of these rides know what to do to keep us safe.  The same is the case with airplanes.  Because we imagine them to be safe, our will is allowed to push us towards getting on the ride or inside the plane.  When we imagine that something could potentially be dangerous (even when it seems like fun), the image of danger overpowers the will, and many of us forego the fun in order to be safe.  When we don't take good chances on ourselves for fear of the unknown, while it could keep us safe, we could also miss out a huge blessing.  Imagination, when used properly, can will us to take a leap of faith that changes our lives for the better, forever.  On the flip side, if we always ignore that urge that tells us to "go for it", the will is useless- and we will find ourselves years from now...stuck in the very place that we desired not to be.

The book I read was called Self Mastery through Conscious Autosuggestion by Emile Coue. Click the link to read for yourself.

Take some time to clear your mind

Sometimes, we can get so hung up on all of the things that we have to do.  This is especially so for women.  We take on all of the issues involving the household, the kids, the family, and our friends.  We put the weight of other people's problems on our shoulders.  We crowd our minds with so much information, that before we know it everything becomes urgent (when in reality a lot of what we feel is urgent, really isn't)!  We start spinning our wheels to move forward with this weight faster, and as we unload one thing, we pick up another.

People in a typical workforce, live for the weekend.  They look forward to not having to make the commute into the workplace, hear the boss screaming all day, and not having to focus on the mounds of work on the desk- that we just can't seem to get through...And we live to forget other things as well, the shuffling of kids during the week day carpool, the morning and afternoon traffic-jams, power lunches, and all of the unexpected things that come up from all around. 

Once we make it to the weekend- those two days where we expect to savor our down time, what do we do?  We unconsciously fill it still, with such things as household chores and extra-curricular activities for the kids.  And before we know it, it's Sunday evening- and still that time is filled with getting ourselves prepared for our normal survival grinds of the next week. We find ourselves feeling sluggish...grumpy even...not knowing where the time has gone and why we're still tired.

This is a strong indication that you need to take some time to clear your mind!  You need to find a place where you can escape your busy and task filled world, so that you can think of...you guessed it....absolutely nothing!  You don't need extra money to do this, you don't have to take a trip or even leave your house.  Hide out in your bathroom, a closet, or take some time in your car while your kids are focused on their extra-curricular actitivies, to close your eyes- and let your mind rest.  Tell yourself, "I don't want to think of anything", and you won't!  Ask God to come into that empty space in your mind and let him relax you with his reassurance that he is there for you.  Let him know that you are thankful for your life with all of its busyness, but that you also appreciate the time to unwind mentally.  Eventually (and it's a QUICK eventually), you will start to feel better....rested...able...and happy.  You will be able to think more clearly when you get back to thinking...but it will be better, more focused, and the most urgent benefit, is you will be filled again!

Don't just spread the message of hope, be a modal for it

I am always elated to receive email messages of hope!  But these messages founded on varying religious sacraments are meant to do more than just spread a message of hope.  They are also meant by the original creators (in many, but maybe not all cases) to inspire other believers to become beacons of hope for others.  These messages should serve as a call to action for the utilitarian good of others, but sadly, more often than not, people miss the mark- and their opportunity to decide to become the astonishing exemplars that God intended us to be.

I get these messages and I am so glad to receive them, as I stated before, and so many of them have moved me to action!  So much so that my calendar is practically filled on a daily basis with things that I can do to help and inspire others. Volunteer work, helping a neighbor, supporting another person's efforts to improve a condition, are all things that I have found to be a personal mission for me.  I receive such a great feeling whenever I can help someone else to become inspired....to see and believe in that hope, which these messages are meant to deliver.  I feel such a connection with the Godsource- our Lord and Savior. 

In addition, (while it's really none of my business), I can't help but wonder- if the people who forward these beautiful messages, try to be excellent paradigms themselves?  And if they are not trying, what is holding them back?  Have you asked yourself recently which one you are?  Are you the uninvolved, lackadaisical messenger or are you the person that has become an exquisite model for sharing hope?

While our Father God in Heaven, likes a great messenger, he also adores a great doer.  An example can be found in the book of James of the Bible, where it says:

"And one of you say to the them, depart in peace, be warmed and filled, but not give them not those things which are needful to the body, what does it profit?  Even so faith, if it hath not works is dead, being alone. Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works..." (James 2:16-18, KJV).

These verses from the good book go right to the heart of what is expected of humans on this earth as it relates to our works and charity.  Our actions are what really show our commitment, they are what help us to show the light of God in us.  While email , chain-texts, and all other forms of messages for goodwill, may warm our skin and lighten our hearts, if they don't move us to action, they are pointless.  And while being a messenger is a good thing, they are typically forgotten once the intended person has received the message.  But the unique person who gets such a message and moves mountains by his faith and works is the one who will go down in history!

The world needs more billets-doux

A good friend of mine (she's actually more like a sister to me), sent me an exciting message the other day.  She was elated to find out the meaning of billet-doux (pronounced "bil-lay doo).  She asked me, "Why do you think that people don't participate in passing along billets-doux anymore?"  While she stomped me with that question, she did raise a very valid point afterward.  She stated, couldn't the Bible be considered a billet-doux?  After careful thought, I concluded that sure it could!

For those of you who don't know what the term billet-doux means, it is the way to say love letter in the French language.  The French started using the term sometime betweeen 1666 and 1675.  These "notes" were passed between lovers and good friends, as a letter of love could and should be shared with everyone that you feel the emotion for, whether it is romantic or plutonic.  While, the practice has lost its luster over the centuries, and especially in contemporary times (probably due to the invention of the telephone and the advancement of technology as it relates to computers- email in other words), putting it into practice again could begin the process of shifting those who lack the ability for whatever reason back to openly sharing love for one another, more often.  A billet-doux can be kept by the receiver as a reminder of another's affection, opening their minds and hearts to better understanding when their love one makes a mistake and could be used for reconciliation and repair of a previously damaged relationship. 

In addition, they could also be used to deepen the ripples of love that could be permeating in the hearts of a person that you admire, and since it is not practiced as often, could make you appear unique in a good way to the object of your affection.  Even a simple billet-doux with just a few well thought lines could carry you a long way in capturing the object of your heart's desire--and keeping them going could help you to build an unbreakable bond with each other. 

Back to the idea that the living word from the Holy Bible could be considered a billet-doux.  It could in fact be called this, as the good book is God's immaculate attempt to show us how much he loves us and wants a relationship with us.  He expresses his deep desire for us to be with him, by sharing the story of how he gave his only begotten son's human life, so that we could have the life that is required to be in his presence--to experience his love first hand.  Of course with any relationship, work is involved.  But in a standard love-based relationship between two humans, you are not given any specific instructions on how to strengthen that love.  God loves us so much however, that he has provided explicit instructions on how to develop the best kind of love affair imaginable--and that is one with him.  Further, we received a directive from the book of life to love each other as God loves us.  Why not fashion our methods after those of our mighty father.  Write a billet-doux or a letter of love to a special person in your life.  It doesn't have to be a boyfriend or a girlfriend.  It can be your mother, your children, or your next door neighbor.  Take the time to tell them why you love them and appreciate them.  Remind them of the great qualities you see in them, and your belief that they can reach any dream and overcome any obstacle.  Doing that will definitely make their day, and it will strengthen their love for you!

Tips for developing a successful mindset

People ask me all the time what I do to keep myself motivated.  They often say to me, " You do so much! How do you keep it all together? Aren't you afraid you won't stay motivated?  What happens if you fail?"  I say to them, "There's no way I can fail, if I keep going!"  After I say that, people tend to look at me as if I'm crazy!  They then proceed to tell me things like, "People are different, you are the type of person that has always gone after certain things, I am not like that." Or I hear, "Yeah, but you're more educated, or more outgoing, etc."

These people, as I once used to, have a defeating mindset.  I don't have that mindset anymore.  I trained myself to get past the negative things that we inherently tell ourselves.  For most people, when we have a big idea, we often talk ourselves out of going through with making them a reality because we allow the negative thoughts that will crowd our minds to take over.  I was one of those people, until someone unexpected told me that I could train myself to get past the negativity.  They pointed me in the direction of literature that explained how to do this.  This person gave me a list of old and contemporary literature pieces that I could read, and reminded me that the Bible says that, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he", Prov. 23:7.  And while we shouldn't need any other confirmation, than the words written in the Bible, there have been countless other literary works that have proven the point to be so.

Here are some tips that you can utilize to change your mindset, and in essence change your life!

• Tell yourself in the mirror, that you are deserving of great things.  Remind yourself often throughout the day that you are going to achieve great things....It takes on average 21-30 days for a person to form a habit.  If you get into the habit of telling yourself that you deserve greatness, then you will be sure to accomplish it!
• Focus your attention on the thing that you want to accomplish and take action!  Keep going until you get there!  There is a natural law that never fails, which says what you think about, you bring about...whether its positive or negative!
• Tune out those people who say you can't do it!
• Keep your head by following a specific plan that is going to get you what you want!  Action, is KEY to making your dreams come true!
• Expose yourself to things (literature, things on t.v., the radio, or the Internet) that are positive.  What you expose yourself to the most, is what your mind will determine is important for you to remember.  If it's all good, then so are you!

By doing these things, you will change your thinking.  You will turn the negative switch off in your mind, and activate the positive switch.  If you believe in what God says in the Bible, then you must know in your heart that you can't fail!  Finally, track your progress.  You need to see yourself reaching the goal- it motivates you to keep going!  Go right now to a mirror, and practice it!  If you are in need of money, say "I have more money than I know what to do with" to yourself, instead of saying, "I wish I had more money!"  Because if you keep telling yourself you wish you had more money, you will be doing just that...wishing!

If you are ready to make a financial change or any other change for that matter, it all has to be set in motion in your mind first!  

Make plans to be successful

Today, I was thinking about all the things that I have accomplished in my time on this planet.  I always hear people say, "I want to do this or that, but I don't know where to begin".  So my purpose today is to hopefully help you begin doing the "this or that" that you've always imagined yourself doing.  One of the things that set the "haves" apart from the "have nots", is their ability to plan their destiny effectively.  They follow specific steps in an effort to guarantee their success.  Even God made plans in the Bible, and began doing so in Genesis, right after he separated the heavens and the earth.  Here's the plan for man:
"Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth,” (Gen.1:26).

This verse and some others from the Bible have all of the elements of making an effective plan.  Here are the steps for you to remember and to follow:

• Step One: Identify your long term and short term goals.  In the verse above, God stated the short term goal, which was to complete the making of man in his likeness.  The long term goal, to let them rule over all the other "animal" beings on earth.
• Step Two: Figure out what you need and what it would take to set the plan in action: God figured that man needed to be created in his image in order to be able to effectively rule the animals. God visualized what he wanted man to be like and he got to work on making that vision a reality.
• Step Three: Determine what is standing in your way.  Of course, the Lord God, didn't have any barriers standing in his way.  But there is instruction given to us by Jesus which states, "For which one of you when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost, to see if he has enough to complete it", (Luke 14:28-32)? 
• Step Four: Take Action! There is a very familiar saying amongst those who are super successful.  They believe that you should plan your work, THEN work your plan!  Don't just talk about it, BE about it!  Act as if you are living your dream now as you are working for it.  Eventually, what you are dreaming of and working toward will come to pass.  The promise is there for you to read yourself in the living word.  It says, "In all labor there is profit, but mere talk only leads to poverty" (Prov. 14:23). 
• Step Five: Determine the success of the plan.  Everyone needs a way to determine if their plan is working.  You can analyze your plan from a financial standpoint for example.  Or you can use different tools, depending on what your plan and its purpose is to determine if it is successful.  You can create milestones- to look at the work that you have completed thus far and list the pros and cons of the things that you have implemented, or even a software program that plots the different tasks you have by level of importance, due date, etc.  If something in the plan isn't working, you don't have to throw it away altogether...sometimes all that is needed is a little tweaking!
• Step Six: If it keeps you from working on your plan, avoid it!  There are times when things will come up which will grab your attention, even if they have nothing to do with your goal!  It can be as simple as a friend calling with a juicy story, or your favorite t.v. show is on in a minute.  These are times when you will be faced with a decision.  Do you put off work that you need to be doing now to be a chatty Kathy with your friend or to tune into that t.v. show now, even though you will see it on youtube later?  The decision is always yours, but so are the consequences!
• Step Seven: Keep going until you make it!  The Bible also warns us about giving up too soon!   Galatians 6:9 says, "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."  So in essence you are obeying the living word when you keep going!  And if you are faithful, the promise is that you will reap from the seeds you sewed!

So now that the TRUE secret to being successful is out, what are you going to do to reach yours?  Are you just going to keep sitting there, or are you going to make plans to have something great happen?



Your Gift Will Open the Way for You and Others

"A gift opens the way for the giver and ushers him into the presence of the great." Prov. 18:16

Did you know that each one of us was blessed with a special gift to bring to the world.  We are supposed to use our gifts to do a profound work, one that should uplift and enlighten others.  A few weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a very dear friend of mine, who told confessed that they were wondering about what the true meaning for their life was and how they were supposed to make a difference.  This friend suffered a great tragedy, and said to me as we talked, "I wished I knew what my purpose for being on this earth is.  I want to fulfill that purpose, as now I realize that nothing material will truly make me happy."  I went on to tell her finding her true purpose is as easy as asking God to reveal it to her, and then to set about the task of looking for the answer to be revealed to her.  I did tell her to that once her gift was made clear, she had to immediately get to work on making a plan to share her gift with the world.  Some of us have some pretty obvious gifts...maybe you have a great singing voice, or the the ability to make people laugh.  Other gifts may not be so clear, or may not thrust you into a spolight right away. All true gifts from God that are possessed by people, will however, open the way for the giver, and puts him or her in the presence of other great people who will appreciate what they have to offer.  More than money, or anything material, a true gift when shared properly, will bring a peace and sense of satisfaction to the giver that no amount of money can compare to.  If you keep your eyes on what's really important, which is giving the best of yourself, and being infinitely thankful for every experience you have while sharing your gift, you will soon find that you will be changed for the better.  Those around you will notice the change too.  Oftentimes, they will be inspired to be better also.  This is how change in the world is really made.  It comes from people like you, realizing their higher calling, not being afraid to operate in that calling, and encouraging others to do the same.  Don't be afraid of finding out why you were planted in this earth, at this time.  If you keep the faith, your gift will not only put you in the presence of the great, it can will also help you to become one of the great!