It's not as bad as it can be

Recently, I have experienced some feelings that made me feel really bad.  I have felt lonely and displaced.  I have experienced feelings of worthlessness and and sadness.  I am sure that I am not the only one out there who experiences these feelings from time to time.  I have always struggled with finding my place in society, with my family, and in the workplace at different points in my life. After days of feeling down and out, I remembered that I can always find the peace that I need in God's word.

After I remembered that, I went to God in prayer and asked him, "Lord God, what is your will for my life?" He told me that his will is for me to help others.  Ironically, I have always felt that this is what I should be doing.  In my own ways, throughout my life, I have tried to do that.  So much that it was to a fault.  I also realized that some people just wanted to use me and my talents for ill will.  They saw something in me that they could take advantage of.  After thinking of these things, stupidly, I asked God again, if helping others was my true calling.  And again, he answered, "YES!"  So now, I was faced with the questions of who do I help and how?  Here's what I came up with:

• Help those who have a strong desire and the WILL to help themselves.
• Help those who are ignorant to the glory of God to see it.
• Help those who are less fortunate with a meal, clothes, or just a smile (which ever is applicable for the situation)
• But most importantly, help those who really need it, to see the light of God by showing it!  Be thankful out loud, be humble at all times, give God the glorious credit he deserves for all of the great things that he does for you--and share with others how he has and continues to help you.

So today, and for the rest of my life, I will try to complete the "helping tasks" that my Lord and Savior has placed upon my heart to do.  I will however be mindful to look out for those people and situations that do not wish to receive the help that I am to provide and use it for God's purpose.  I have found that no matter how hard things seem to be for me, there is always someone else who suffers worse.  My drama therefore is never as bad as it can be.

Growing Up Can Be Hard to Do

Growing up can be a very hard thing to get through.  There are so many things to be excited about, like becoming old enough to vote, being able to stay out as late as you want, and having that belief that you can do anything that you want.  It's also very frightening.  There's all that responsibility to look forward to.  Deciding upon a career and paying for food and shelter on your own.  There's the idea of marriage and raising your own family to think about. 

When I think back on that tender time in my life when I was between the ages of 16-18, I was so excited about what I would offer the world.  I never really considered in all my "knowledge" what it would throw back at me.  There were so many things that I had to take a "crash course" in because I had no clue about them.  During those times of my young life, I thought the world was against me...and I was right!  I wasn't as prepared as I should have been, but I learned how to do it...because I wanted to.  

That is really the trick to striking down what the world is throwing at you.  Preparation a great bat to use when hitting the world's balls.  It can help us avoid a lot, because it can teach healthy anticipation.  It's also important to be prepared to work.  Gratitude and work bring abundance.  If you're doing great work, then abundance can be infinite.  Love everyone, regardless of who or what they are.  This does not mean that you should run around giving the shirt off of your back to everyone who asks for it....but it does mean respecting others and appreciating any positive connection you have with another person, regardless of how long it lasts...Pay attention with love in your hear to your fellow man.  Finally, give of yourself to those who give of themselves to you.  These things can make that transition to adulthood much smoother.  They can also pave the way to your having the life you always wanted!

Learning to Trust

One of the problems that I see in contemporary American society is that people in general seem to be losing the ability to trust one another.  In general, we distrust our legislative body (who has recently been giving us many reasons to do so).  We don't trust that strangers will help us and won't hurt us.  But most importantly, we are slowly losing the trust that we should have for our loved ones.

When we don't trust people, it can lead to many difficulties in a relationship.  Pointless arguments occur on a regular basis.  We tend to want to tag along with the loved one when they want to go somewhere without us, but most of all, we can let the level of distrust we feel take us out of our character.  This is not good, because who are you, if you don't have your character?

Also, it doesn't matter the kind of relationship.  It can be a platonic one or an intimate one, the result will still be the same.  If the breakdown of trust continues, then the relationship is on an inevitable path to destruction.  Someone will be hurt, if there is no trust. This hurt can be mental, emotional, or even physical.  What can we do if we find ourselves in a place where we don't trust someone that we love?  There are several Biblical verses that speak to this very thing.  One of them is Romans 12:19, which says, "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, and I will repay", saith the Lord. This verse provides specific instruction from God on how to deal with the mistrust that you feel for others.  The Bible also says in 1 Corinthians 4:5, "Therefore, judge nothing before the appointed time.  Wait until the Lord comes.  For what is done in the dark, he will bring to the light."  This is also explicit instruction from the Lord.  He tells us not to be judgmental and to wait on him to show us the truth.  As with all of God's words, they will come to fruition.  It's natural law and it never fails.

So the next time you find yourself, losing your character because you don't trust someone, remember just these two verses, and revel in the fact that the Lord our God will show you what you need to see.  Find the happiness and strength you need in the fact that he is going to set all things right for you. and expose any wrong doing that has taken a course against you.

Focus is a skill!

I used to think that subliminal messages were mostly bad.  I would watch television or read certain types of literature and find them all the time.  All I could see were "warning" and "statistical" messages that all seemed to be designed to control who we can become.  However, when I started to look for good messages, I found that they were just as abundant, if not more plentiful.

I had to focus on finding good messages though, in order to do it.  Before long it became super easy to do, so I focused on doing other things.  That work has led me to the point where I am able to write this message,  for you and for myself; on a sunny Monday morning, living a life that I love.  Earlier this morning, I thought about what it took to get me to this point.  I realized that my focus has gotten much better in the last few years that I have been on my life journey.  There are different levels of focus.  If you are conscious of your level of focus often, then you can feel the difference between being at the level when you can find a needle in a haystack, and the level that it takes to drink a glass of water.

Because we can practice using the levels of intensity of focus, it is indeed a learned skill.  The problem with many of us is that we won't consciously practice it.  Intensity of focus is what builds great cities and produces  great artists.  It's what pushes us forward into the future.  What we focus on is the determinant for if and how we will arrive in the future.  And if you focus hard enough, you can see that the future is always now. It would also be good to remember that all focus on something produces something, now or later.  If you skillfully use your focus to project evil, then surely you will see it.  If you use skilled focus to produce good, it will show itself as well.  So in this moment, now...start to practice on your skill of focus.  See what effects practicing it and using it skillfully can have on your life.

Get up! Do something!

I have been wondering for the last couple week or so, what new could be said about the month of February and all of the important dates that take place in February.  Let's outline them:  We celebrate the birthdays of two famous American presidents.  One was a leader in the war that gave America it's independence.  The other was instrumental in putting an end to slavery.  We also celebrate love in the month of February with Valentine's day.

For most African Americans, the month is important because it's a time to celebrate their history and how they overcame obstacles that kept them oppressed.  The more I considered these things, the more I realized that they are all tied together....connected, as we should be.  For one, we should love each other enough to respect and help our fellow man, regardless of creed, sex, or religion.  The history of this country and the history of African American people reflect the same things. 

The first people who migrated on their own to this country, did so to free themselves of an oppressive monarch.  While, all African Americans did not come to this country of their own volition, they worked hard over decades to free themselves of oppressive slave owners.  They worked hard to ensure that the government recognized them as human beings, with equal and unalienable rights. 

These people made history because they got up and did something about their circumstances.  They lived, fought, and died for what they believed was right and just.  They took pride in their cultures, heritages, and worked to pass certain values on to their posterity.  But now, more and more, I see this strength, this desire, being trampled by laziness, detachment, amoral behavior, and a ever growing lack of love and respect for our fellow man, regardless of creed, sex, or religion.  

As we remember these people, and the struggles they endured to make us free and give us opportunity...a chance at a real life lived, we should remember that we too must GET UP and DO SOMETHING!  We must do something to restore that power we once had in ourselves as a people, as a part of the human race. This month, we should really focus on the needs of our brother man...we need to make sure that he is safe...and that our future is as well.  The only way we will succeed in doing that is...together.  

Riding in a Whirlwinds!

Have you ever experienced a whirlwind?  That great gush of wind comes along and carries you off balance for just a bit?  As it meets you, it brings along leaves that found their place on the ground underneath their home trees, and maybe a small scrap of paper that someone lost along their way. 

On a hot summer day, the whirlwind's breeze is a welcome treat!  It cools you off and brings a smile to your face, as you enjoy the sudden coolness, as it squeezes your face, which was crackling from the heat.  The people who were inside, miss nature's attempt to bring them the simple joy of a summer's day wind.  Those who don't have modernized cooling mechanisms to keep them airy, must settle more rudimentary methods to bring their skin the breeze it needs to settle down.

Imagine the breezes of life as being the same as nature's world wind.  Swift and cool...Blowing through with the opportunity of a life time. Blessings that have been hidden sometimes- wrapped in the debris that the gush has accumulated on its travels.  When it passes by you, the whirlwind swoops you up too.  And a magnetic object passes by you.  You grab hold to it and land where it lands.  As you remove the dust from the object, you realize that the ball like object is your potential.  It has a place for a lock, but the area is broken and the lock is missing.  Once you open it, you realized that it has inside a seed of opportunity- that is waiting for you to nourish it until its reality.

I found my seed of opportunity this same way, you know.  I nourished it, and loved it.  Labored for it, with no complaint.  That seed has grown into God's greatest gift for me.  Its brought more to me than I ever would have had, if I had not looked for it in the whirlwind that picked me up! 

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

It's been a while since my last post, and a lot has gone on in the world!  This year, 2012, has seen its share of great things happen and bad things too.  This time of the year should be a time of reflection, but also a time to share great joy, as those of us that are still here have the chance to see what the next year will hold.  We can be sad when we reflect on those lives that were lost, but we can also be optimistic about what the future will bring.

I am thankful that I am one of the few who did make it through the year.  I am glad that the Mayans were wrong about the world ending on December 21, 2012.  I am looking forward to starting anew!  Being a better person...a better mother, a better servant for God, a better friend and lover than I was in the past.  I am happy that I get to celebrate, the Lord Jesus Christ's birthday, with good people, good food, and create new memories of love that will carry me for years to come through the rest of my life.

I feel blessed with what I have learned and am excited to face the new things that will come about to further strengthen my character and that will make me better as a whole.  My faith in the idea that what is good will always prevail is stronger today than it ever has been.  I believe that next year can definitely be better than 2012 was for all of us, if we but all work together and keep that faith in mind as we deal with other people in the world and ourselves.  I thank God for the life I've lived this year, and I thank him for you!  I wish you many blessings on the Lord's birthday, for the rest of this year, and throughout next year.  

Why being thankful all year long is so important

Yesterday, we celebrated Thanksgiving.  It was an extremely special time for me.  I had the chance to see two uncles, whom I had not seen in many years.  I had the rare chance to go back in time and remember great memories shared with them and other members of my family.  We got the chance to see how we had changed over the years, it was amazing to see how time had changed us.  I was so thankful to have the opportunity to see them in person again...to hug them, hear their laughter, learn about the lives they are leading and to share about my life.

Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday, because it puts the idea of being thankful at the forefront of people's minds.  As a result, they are little bit nicer, are more focused on trying to enjoy other people, and is the beginning of the season of sharing.  At the end of the day, we find ourselves exhausted from all of the good food, fun, and laughter we enjoyed all day long.  This kind of exhaustion is the kind we should be experiencing every day.  But we get so caught up in other seemingly more important things and miss out on it. We should be on purpose about being thankful everyday, because gratitude is the start of the process for you to have anything you want!  Having a giving heart all year long is the second step!

Being thankful and giving, in fact, are explicit instructions for us from God.  1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us, "In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."  And Proverbs 19:17 says, "He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the Lord; and that which he hath given will he pay unto him."  Now there you have it!  Being thanksgiving only helps you! It's benefits are unfailing and eternal.  Want proof?  Now is the perfect time to start following the steps and get it!  You don't have anything to lose by doing so.

It's never to late to get what you want

Over the years, I have received so much praise from people who love what I would call my "fighting spirit".  That doesn't mean that I am running around causing unnecessary and messy disturbances; it means that when I want something, I go after it very hard...and am usually successful in obtaining it.  Now don't get me wrong, I don't step on toes, or do unethical things to get my way.  I just make a plan and follow it.  I also use my skills to access and examine my plans, and if something goes wrong, I don't abort the mission, I just change the course so that I improve my chances of completing the mission.

It saddens me that there are so many people running around with dreams and ambitions in their hearts, but they feel that it is too late to accomplish them.  I am here to tell you that it's never too late to get what you want.  We all have that "fighting spirit" somewhere inside of us.  We may have buried it underneath all of the obligations and other responsibilities we have, but it's in there.  We just need to search ourselves and dig it out from under all of the other stuff that stagnates us.  We can do this through meditation, prayer, and practically any other method that we find which will help us to put ourselves back into the action!  In order to realize those dreams that you truly have in your heart, you must be PRESENT and CONSCIOUS of where you are and where you need to go!  And for those who say, "I've got this to do now, I will focus on my dream later", I've got news for you, there will always be something!  That is the way life is.  We all have choices, we can choose to live our dreams NOW and follow our hearts and the holy spirit, or we can choose do to it LATER and hope that later will come!  I know I don't want to take that chance, do you?

The Beauty of Change

It seems that the older we get, the more resistant to change we become.  When we are children, we adapt more easily to it because we are almost always focused on the positive things that can come about as a result of change.  As we grow older, our experiences make us more cautious, and less likely to embrace change.  While change is a scary thing for many, it can be a beautiful thing.  In fact, change is inevitable in nature, and we are in awe of its beauty (most of the time)!

In fact, change must occur in the world's ecological system to renew it.  Fall comes in late September each year, and turns the leaves red, yellow, orange, and brown.  Those leaves eventually fall to the earth, leaving many tree branches barren of their typical beauty, and will even make the most manicured yards look amazingly different during this time.  This change carries on through winter and then into spring, where we see the budding of green leaves on those same trees, which make their way to the surface to restore them to their previous glory.  Life is much more evident in nature during the summer, as we see more wildlife come out from hibernation and scamper about as if they are reveling in the change of the landscape. 

Change is important to life in order to live it to its fullest.  We will make mistakes, some of them can bring about major setbacks.  But by pushing forward to help bring about change that is good, will always be successful, if people band together for that good.  Life without change would be dull and not worth living....so don't be afraid of it.  Embrace it!

The impossible is always possible!

In recent weeks, I have been hit more times than I care to remember with challenges that seemed impossible.        And just when I thought I had made it over one hurdle, a bigger one would seem to appear almost instantly.  These hurdles being so close together was making it difficult for me to get a grip on what I needed to do, and   in some instances being afraid that I wouldn't finish the race, I found myself just jumping, without proper form and with inadequate speed.

Getting tired and frustrated with my performance, I realized that the race had kind of knocked me off my A-game for a moment.  I wasn't thinking clearly and thoroughly.  I decided to step onto the sidelines and regroup.  I also practiced my jumps, took care to improve my stride, and today I am jumping hurdles as if I was Jackie Joyner-Kersee who earned a plethora of gold medals for hurdling in they Olympics!  It feels good to be a winner....to be successful...to be loved and revered by many.  But none of that can happen until we start to believe that the impossible is always possible.

We have so many examples in our world of this today.  For example, we have airplanes, big and small flying all around us, when people thought in the past that it could never happen.  Technology has improved so much that we no longer have to go to the mailbox to get a letter, we can receive it instantly via email. It took for one person to believe that these things could be accomplished, and to work with the right people to bring it to fruition.  So remove the word impossible from your vocabulary.  Remember no thought of action comes to our minds without the possibility of completing the action.  If you take that with you, everywhere you go, the impossible does in fact become it's opposite!

Don't let trouble , trouble you!

One of the things that I notice about many people is that they will let trouble, trouble them.  They set out to accomplish something and because the weather isn't right, or money is tight, they just give up on it.  They rarely consider the trouble as an opportunity from God to reconsider their actions or to tweak their plans a little bit in order to make them better.  They just automatically assume that this thing they want to do is somehow not meant for them. 

On last Friday, I had some big plans!  I was excited about them and even got started working on the plans and had a massive derailment!  The derailment completely immobilized me for the entire weekend!  Where everyone else said to me, "I am sorry you weren't able to make your engagements", my thought was, "I won't be able to make them TODAY!"  I regrouped, rescheduled the ones that I could, and was able to find a way to one! 

So now, looking back, I see that my derailment was actually a gift from God.  I was moving very quickly to get my tasks done, and had been moving fast all week to keep up with my own schedule!  I was feeling VERY tired, but needed to press on, feeling that I needed to keep the engagements, and be a person of my word.  God, our glorious and gracious father, had other plans for me however.  When I look back on the weekend, it gave me a chance to get some much needed rest, and today, I feel rejuvenated!  My calendar is less full this week, compared to last week, therefore I am able to keep my remaining commitments without feeling worn down.

So you see, having a few bumps in the road, don't have to keep you from fulfilling your plans!  If you have the right attitude and an open mind, you may see that God has actually set you up to accomplish your goals a lot easier than you had planned yourself!  If you keep this in mind, then chances are, trouble WON'T trouble you!

Is it time to re-invent yourself?

There are certain times in our lives (and I believe that everyone experiences this), where we get a little bored with ourselves.  This is true, even when we've achieved financial security, amassed our desired material possessions, have what we consider to be the perfect relationships, etc.  Once we've accomplished these things, we tend to tell ourselves, "If it isn't broken,then don't fix it!"  We have all of the worldly possessions we need, so we must be doing something right, even if it doesn't feel as if we are for some reason.

Well, maybe it's okay not to "fix what's not broken" in your current systems for creating the material world that you desire.  And if you've done a great job at setting those systems up, then chances are, they will continue to run and be the successful things they are, even if you focus a little attention somewhere else.  While, it is of uber importance to us all to create material wealth and worldly satisfaction for ourselves, sometimes the desire to achieve more still lingers.  If the call is not answered, for some of us, we will still wind up with a wanting desire to do something more.

If you have felt this way before, or are feeling it right now, then surely it's a great time to assess what's going on in your world and take the the to reinvent yourself in some area of your life to bring back the vigor you once had which helped you accomplish all of your prior successes.  Over the course of our lives, our needs, desires, and what we feel is important in this life changes...most of us just don't get the guts to go with the flow!  I admit, it does take some boldness, but it can be done!  Here are a few tips on how to make it happen:

• Think about your existing accomplishments and ask yourself, "What else can I bring to the table here, that no one else can?  Did I make these strong enough that they can still stand, if I am not involved in every aspect of their development?"
• Where have I served others, and where is there a need for others to be serviced that I can surely help out in?
• Stop thinking about your past!  Focus on what you want the future to hold for you...Paint a picture in your mind and work on it everyday! 

Do you want to re-invent yourself?  What areas would you like to start with?  Don't know what to do next after you've painted your picture?  I'd love to help!  Comment on the blog post or email me and together, we can get started on bringing out a NEW you!

Imagination always overpowers the will

This past weekend I read a very interesting little book that explained the term autosuggestion and how we use it in our daily lives, either consciously or unconsciously.  The book also explained how when we use it unconsciously, it normally has a negative effect on our lives.  I thought about this concept for a moment.  I do believe in the the idea of autosuggestion, and have employed the skills necessary to make it work for me in several areas.  I found it to be a very positive experience.  But this particular book made the suggestion that the imagination always overpowers the will.  It gave very explicit examples that could prove it to be true.  So I tested this theory with my daughter, using one of the examples from the document.

I went outside and grabbed a 2x4 from my storage room.  The board was just big enough for her feet to navigate across, one in front of the other.  I layed the plank on the ground and asked her to walk across it.  She did so with ease, never hesitating.  She was successful, each and every single time that she took the walk (a total of 10 times).  Next, I rested each end of the board on the seats of two chairs.  This raised the board about three feet off the ground.  I asked my daughter to step up and complete the walk. She immediately told me that she couldn't walk across the board and did not attempt it at first.

When I asked her about her reservation, she explained to me that she was not coordinated enough to walk the board in a tight rope fashion, and that she knew she would fall.  I told her to try for me anyway and she did.  She fell almost immediately.  Afterward she says to me, "See mom, I told you that I couldn't do it."  And asked her why she felt that way- to which she responded, "Well mom I am afraid of falling from a big building- I don't like heights!"  She continued to tell me that she couldn't look down out of windows when she had to be in tall buildings. 

I explained to her that she wasn't in a tall building, but a mere three feet off the gorund.  I explained to her that if she felt herself feeling as if she were going to fall, she could turn it into an opportunity to jump off the board and land on her feet, since the ground was so close...and that she could even look down to reassure herself.  I asked her to reattempt her walk, and of course, for her mom she obliged.  She mounted herself on the board very slowly.  She raised her arms to shoulder length on either side of her body, and slowly moved across the plank.  She had accomplished the feat!  She was very happy herself as well that she had done it and proceeded to move a little faster across the board to reach the end on which I was standing.  She tried several more times going steadily a little faster each time until she had marched back and forth across the board 12 times!

In my daughter's mind, she could always walk the plank when it was on the floor- as there was really no danger in her mind of getting hurt.  Afterall, she is used to walking on the floor and the plank had nowhere to fall to, as it was positioned on the floor.  But in order to get across the same plank while it was positioned on the seats of two chairs took some effort.  She had to imagine and suggest to herself that she could jump 3 feet to the ground if for some reason the plank gave way to the possibility of her crashing. 

This is the same for everyone else too.  We like to take big rides at amusement parts so that we can feel the rush (and the fear) that goes along with soaring up high in the sky and extremely rapid speeds.  Some of us can do this because we imagine that the operators of these rides know what to do to keep us safe.  The same is the case with airplanes.  Because we imagine them to be safe, our will is allowed to push us towards getting on the ride or inside the plane.  When we imagine that something could potentially be dangerous (even when it seems like fun), the image of danger overpowers the will, and many of us forego the fun in order to be safe.  When we don't take good chances on ourselves for fear of the unknown, while it could keep us safe, we could also miss out a huge blessing.  Imagination, when used properly, can will us to take a leap of faith that changes our lives for the better, forever.  On the flip side, if we always ignore that urge that tells us to "go for it", the will is useless- and we will find ourselves years from now...stuck in the very place that we desired not to be.

The book I read was called Self Mastery through Conscious Autosuggestion by Emile Coue. Click the link to read for yourself.

Take some time to clear your mind

Sometimes, we can get so hung up on all of the things that we have to do.  This is especially so for women.  We take on all of the issues involving the household, the kids, the family, and our friends.  We put the weight of other people's problems on our shoulders.  We crowd our minds with so much information, that before we know it everything becomes urgent (when in reality a lot of what we feel is urgent, really isn't)!  We start spinning our wheels to move forward with this weight faster, and as we unload one thing, we pick up another.

People in a typical workforce, live for the weekend.  They look forward to not having to make the commute into the workplace, hear the boss screaming all day, and not having to focus on the mounds of work on the desk- that we just can't seem to get through...And we live to forget other things as well, the shuffling of kids during the week day carpool, the morning and afternoon traffic-jams, power lunches, and all of the unexpected things that come up from all around. 

Once we make it to the weekend- those two days where we expect to savor our down time, what do we do?  We unconsciously fill it still, with such things as household chores and extra-curricular activities for the kids.  And before we know it, it's Sunday evening- and still that time is filled with getting ourselves prepared for our normal survival grinds of the next week. We find ourselves feeling sluggish...grumpy even...not knowing where the time has gone and why we're still tired.

This is a strong indication that you need to take some time to clear your mind!  You need to find a place where you can escape your busy and task filled world, so that you can think of...you guessed it....absolutely nothing!  You don't need extra money to do this, you don't have to take a trip or even leave your house.  Hide out in your bathroom, a closet, or take some time in your car while your kids are focused on their extra-curricular actitivies, to close your eyes- and let your mind rest.  Tell yourself, "I don't want to think of anything", and you won't!  Ask God to come into that empty space in your mind and let him relax you with his reassurance that he is there for you.  Let him know that you are thankful for your life with all of its busyness, but that you also appreciate the time to unwind mentally.  Eventually (and it's a QUICK eventually), you will start to feel better....rested...able...and happy.  You will be able to think more clearly when you get back to thinking...but it will be better, more focused, and the most urgent benefit, is you will be filled again!

Are you spending your time meaningfully?

I hear people all the time speak about how they wished they could live our their dreams.  They want to be wealthy, they want to have nice homes, cars, and a great nesteg.  They want to be debt-free and put their children through college.  They want to retire young and die happy.  I also see people pass up opportunities all the time that could put them on the path to those things they truly seek.  I heard a wonderful acronym for poor once...I will share it now:

P-Passing

O-Over

O-Opportunities

R-Repeatedly

The really ironic thing is that people pass the opportunities over, in large part, because they feel they don't have the time to pursue them.  They say, "Oh, I will work on my dream, once my husband or wife achieve theirs." or "I will do it when the kids can take better care of themselves."  Or "I am working too much right now, I can't take the time to go after my dreams, I have bills to pay."  Now, while it is a good thing to support the spouse's dream, or wishing the children were older, and it's okay to work those extra hours on the job (for some people at least).  That does not mean that you can't work on your dream too.  Even if it's for a few minutes to an hour each day. Really, for all the things that we can accomplish in this life, a lot of what we afford to do depends on how well we manage our time.

Take my life for example.  I worked a full-time job, ran a small business part-time, went to school full-time to earn a master's degree (which I accomplished), wrote and published a book, all while being a single mother.  What did that look like for me?  Well, I didn't get a chance to watch as much reality television.  I didn't have as much time to spend with negative people (which does affect you- whether you believe it or not), and I didn't have time to take on tasks for other people, so that THEY could have the laissez-faire lifestyle they were dreaming of.  I had two steady streams of income (which have now become 5), I learned a lot- and I taught my child a very valuable lesson, which is no matter what your circumstances are, you can do better!  Of all of my accomplishments, the last one is the one which I most savor.

The good news in all of this is, that YOU can accomplish the same things and more!  You simply need to start by assessing how you use your time.  Once you determine where the time is going, you can decide what things you need to delegate- what things are just wasting time, and where you can add more time to your day.  For instance, if you turn off your television for 15 minutes a day extra- five days a week, you add 1 hour and 5 minutes to your week- an hour that you can spend working a business, taking a class, or just reading for information. Just imagine if you illiminated 1 hour a day, five days a week from watching television, or doing some other leisurely activity that you participate in all the time.  That's 5 hours that you can use doing something else.

There are plenty of books which have been written on the subject.  Stephen Covey, has produced a lot of great information that can make you more effective in managing your time and resources- but this kind of information has been made available across the span of our age.  A quick way to assess where your time is going is to take a week- to jot down all of the things you do in a day, and evaluate how long those things take you.  Make an update on a schedule or appointment page at least once every hour.  At the end of the week, go back and look it over- then ask yourself, "How much of this, did I really need to be doing?  What benefit did I get from it, and could I have spent the time doing something more meaninful?"  Finally, ask yourself, "What things could have been delegated and what things could have waited?  I am sure that you will be surprised at where your time goes, and seeing it written out will more than likely spark a fire in you to change some things.  Remember, if you want something different, you will have to do something different often times to get it...why not start by making a difference by managing your time better?  It's a sure fire way to help you gain the success you seek!

Make your own opportunity

"I had to make my own living and my own opportunity.  Don't sit down and wait for the opportunities to come- Get up and make them!" This an such an inspirational truth and a blunt call to action delivered by one of the most influential women in American History, Madame CJ Walker.  Madame CJ Walker is most notably credited with the invention of a chemical hair relaxer or the pressing comb (incorrectly, I might add), and so much so that all of the other things that she did to lift up and inspire, not only her race and women, but people as a whole is often overshadowed.

Mrs. Walker, a descendent of slaves- got instructions in a dream to correct a condition from which she was suffering, which caused hair loss.  Once she followed the instructions and reversed her condition, she set about the business of sharing her "tonic" with people everywhere.  While she was not herself a slave, she did work in the cotton fields of the Mississippi Delta, eventually working her way up to the kitchen.  After developing her scalp tonic, she began traveling from city to city promoting her hair products which eventually led to her having the ability to open several hair salons,beauty schools, and even a manufacturing plant.  She even developed and trained sales people to promote her products!  In addition to building a wonderful business, she was very charitable!  Giving thousands of dollars (yes, THOUSANDS) organizations such as the NAACP, and even joined a group of Harlem leaders to the Whitehouse to demand that the federal government develop and enact anti-lynching laws.  The attitude that Madame CJ Walker had was one of strength, dedication to something that she loved, and a commitment to hard work.  She had a dream and worked tirelessly to make it a reality.  She was able to become an entrepreneur and a respected member of her community, in the most unfavorable and unequal conditions. 

Today, the possibilities are endless for those who have a passion to make their own way- to acquire wealth, to be educated, to reach for a place higher in society than they currently stand.  When times were as difficult as they were in Walker's time, people still perservered and pushed through to become successful, influential people- who made history!  The lesson that we need to get from them and keep at the forefront of our minds, is shaped in the very quote that began this blog post.  Make your opportunity- create your living.  Work hard at making your dreams come true, as they surely can even in the most dire of consequences.

The TRUTH about the life of Madame CJ Walker can be found on a website dedicated to her and maintained by her great-great grandaughter, A'Lelia Bundles: http://www.madamcjwalker.com/

Don't just spread the message of hope, be a modal for it

I am always elated to receive email messages of hope!  But these messages founded on varying religious sacraments are meant to do more than just spread a message of hope.  They are also meant by the original creators (in many, but maybe not all cases) to inspire other believers to become beacons of hope for others.  These messages should serve as a call to action for the utilitarian good of others, but sadly, more often than not, people miss the mark- and their opportunity to decide to become the astonishing exemplars that God intended us to be.

I get these messages and I am so glad to receive them, as I stated before, and so many of them have moved me to action!  So much so that my calendar is practically filled on a daily basis with things that I can do to help and inspire others. Volunteer work, helping a neighbor, supporting another person's efforts to improve a condition, are all things that I have found to be a personal mission for me.  I receive such a great feeling whenever I can help someone else to become inspired....to see and believe in that hope, which these messages are meant to deliver.  I feel such a connection with the Godsource- our Lord and Savior. 

In addition, (while it's really none of my business), I can't help but wonder- if the people who forward these beautiful messages, try to be excellent paradigms themselves?  And if they are not trying, what is holding them back?  Have you asked yourself recently which one you are?  Are you the uninvolved, lackadaisical messenger or are you the person that has become an exquisite model for sharing hope?

While our Father God in Heaven, likes a great messenger, he also adores a great doer.  An example can be found in the book of James of the Bible, where it says:

"And one of you say to the them, depart in peace, be warmed and filled, but not give them not those things which are needful to the body, what does it profit?  Even so faith, if it hath not works is dead, being alone. Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works..." (James 2:16-18, KJV).

These verses from the good book go right to the heart of what is expected of humans on this earth as it relates to our works and charity.  Our actions are what really show our commitment, they are what help us to show the light of God in us.  While email , chain-texts, and all other forms of messages for goodwill, may warm our skin and lighten our hearts, if they don't move us to action, they are pointless.  And while being a messenger is a good thing, they are typically forgotten once the intended person has received the message.  But the unique person who gets such a message and moves mountains by his faith and works is the one who will go down in history!

On the outside looking in

Have you ever stopped to take a break or relax in a park and noticed a group talking? Or maybe you've watched people interact with one another while sitting on the patio at a restaurant or from some other place, not a short distance away?  Today, I did the first thing.  I was in a park, and began to notice the other people  there.  They were engaged in varying activities, but my focus seemed to fall on the basketball court.  I was far enough away from the court that I couldn't hear a word that transpired there.  But I was close enough to see every person on the court. Let me describe the scene for you:

There were trees all around, deciduous trees, and one pine tree.  They followed along side the one paved road that led to a clearing which housed a typical concrete basketball court.  There were 4 hoops with no nets, 3 balls, about 16 people, and one guy wearing a read shirt.  He was very comfortable with the ball, making almost every shot from behind his free throw line.  Immediately behind him were 5 smaller guys, middle school age perhaps, who were struggling a little bit.  One of them, the one wearing the yellow jersey with the number 5 and black striped shorts ran from the basketball court after their wildly bouncing ball, down a hill to the southeast.  At the southwest end of the court, a woman, dressed in a magnolia flower printed, strapless dress, kisses her beau in the most loving way, as the 3rd basketball bounces across the middle of the court with 7 or 8 small children chasing it.  As the boy wearing the number 5 jersey returns to the court with his ball, he is immediately cornered by the other guys in his group, who are full of laughter and excitement....ready to take the ball.

This is an example of someone on the outside looking in.  Even though, I was not a part of either group at the park, I remember vividly most of what I saw happen there.  I was on the outside, but I could have chosen to walk down to the court from where I was sitting and be a part of the action.  It would have been very easy to do.

You should treat your vision the same way.  Look at it as a real opportunity, a scenario that is really going on...one that you can walk toward.  Then do just that.  Invite yourself into it.  Keep the vision that you've painted always at the front of your mind, and while you're thinking of it, take the keys the universe gives you to make your way to it.  Eventually, you will arrive at the scene.  You don't have to be on the outside, just walk towards whatever is going on, and join the action!

Don't be afraid of the unknown...Embrace it!



Today, I encountered a familiar situation with my daughter.  She is an eclectic person, very unique and mature for her age.  She loves music and art, and it shows in her personality and her appearance.  While sometimes I am a little taken back by her style, I always feel compelled to let her be herself.  She makes great decisions and has a lot of common sense and book sense. 

Today, she called me from school in tears because some senior students decided to make her the butt of some very derogatory jokes on Instagram.  For those of you who are not familiar, Instagram is a social networking site of sorts, and is fast becoming popular with young people, just as My Space did a few years ago.  She was so badly affected by the things that the students posted about her, that she made the decision to let go of who she really is, in order to be left alone by these students.

Well, being a concerned parent, who is very proud of her daughter's individuality, I immediately stopped what I was doing and made my way to her school.  There I found her in the school's office, sitting, crying, and contemplating changing who she was to suit the needs of someone else.  When she told me what she was going to do, I put these thoughts on her mind.  "If you change who you are for them now, you will find yourself doing that when you get older.  It may make them happy (though I am pretty sure it wouldn't), but what will it make you?"  These kids, like many adults are afraid of the unknown.  They don't know how to embrace the idea of BEING individuals, so they pick on those who have the courage to do so!  Think of how you could let yourself down by giving into the whims of bullys--don't let them box you into what they want you to be.  They are not worth your shrinking, but you owe it to yourself and the world to shine!"

Of course after a lengthy discussion with those in charge of the offending students, I expressed my intention to seek criminal charges and monetary recompense for the harassment, if they continued this depraved behavior.  I let them know that I would not tolerate it, and would go to any length to protect my daughter..as in the famous words of Malcolm X...by any means necessary.  Normally, I am not this type of person.  But today, I was taken to a place where what needed to be said, had to be said...right then, at that moment.

So the message today is, to not be afraid of the unknown...it's so much better to embrace it.  If those kids had taken half the time to introduce themselves to my daughter and asked her to share something about herself, then they could have made an informed decision about whether or not, they were going to be friends with her.  The same is true with many adults.  We spend so much time judging a book by it's cover, we never take the time to unlock the power inside it!  Just because something is different, it doesn't mean that it is bad.  Don't knock the unknown, because while it can be dark, more often than not, you will find a one of kind treasure in something or someone.  It's also important that we take care of our children.  They are our future, and I definitely want mine to be bright!   Cyberbullying is a growing trend that could be potentially dangerous and heartbreaking for the victim.  For more information about cyberbullying, go to stopcyberbullying.org